Island Park Idaho

When we think of the many  ”manly” things we men do, tying flies isn’t the first thing that comes to mind for most of us.  I know, I know.  Tying flies is where art meets science.  The fisherman come artist is trying to wrap hair, feathers, string, etc., around a hook and make it look as much like a particular insect as humanly possible.  I know it can be done, because I heard one dedicated fly tier swear that only God made a better mosquito than he did.  So apparently there’s more than a little pride in workmanship involved.

As near as I can tell, it goes like this:  you first buy a table.  (Don’t try this on the kitchen table as you will soon be sleeping on the couch if you do.)  Once you have a table (a desk would be acceptable,) you get a vise.  Now I don’t mean you take up drinking or smoking, I mean something to hold the hook while you attach the fru-fru stuff.  Next you get one of those little boxes like your wife keeps all the buttons and thread in (the ones with 24 different compartments) and fill it with colorful string, thread, feathers, fur, and aspirin (for the headache you’re going to get when you try to see what you’re doing on that little tiny hook.)  Last but not least, if you’re over 50 (and admit it, most of you are,) you’re going to need some kind of magnifier to do this work.  You’re not in your twenties, you can’t see that well anymore, and there’s no use in trying to pretend like you do.  Just get the magnifier.  Sure, you’ll look really stupid, but you’re supposed to be doing this in your man cave anyway where nobody’s going to see you (you’re not still planning on doing this on the kitchen are you?)

Once you have everything ready, stick a hook in the vise and go to wrapping stuff around it.  First the string, then the other fru-fru stuff, then the feathers and then . . . well, you get the idea.  The trick in all this is knowing when to stop.  Most people don’t stop soon enough (except the guy above with the mosquitoes.)  Here’s what I do:  I take the hook out of the vise, look at my one-off creation, decide it’ll never do and go to the fly shop and buy what I need.  

If you’re one of those really patient guys (I’ve never met one, but my wife assures me they’re out there) that can sit for hours making the same mistakes over and over and call it learning, then in a few short years you may learn the manly art of fly tying.  If you’re like the rest of us.  Head on over to the fly shop.  They’ve got just what the rest of us need — flies tied by mosquito man.  Why stress yourself out trying to do it at home when they mosquito man will do it for you?  Don’t you have anything else to do?  Or is this one of those deals like not asking for directions when you’re lost?